Vibrant, unhinged & foolish. Allie’s story

If I really had to describe her to someone without adding a lot of unnecessary fluff, those are the words that I would use. “Vibrant, unhinged and foolish.”

While growing up, she was always so loud and needed constant attention.

She was always getting into trouble. Doing stupid shit week after week, all for reasons far beyond my understanding.

But she was always fun. She can create entertainment out of thin air, and she is 100% always involved in all of my silliest memories. Laughing so much we would cry and make weird throat noises and sound like witches or goblins.

That is my sister. Recently, she’s been really going through it. er husband passed away last month in June, right before her birthday. Literally a few days before her birthday, Gemini season. RIP.

Despite my greatest desire to help, I don’t know what to I could do. My feelings swirl from guilt to sad to weirdly optimistic, which then makes me feel bad and guilty again. Do you know how hard it is to grieve a scumbag? I think she should write. This woman fills entire notebooks up. She has so much going on in that wild brain and keeping it all tucked away just feels wrong and almost self-destructive to me.

Me and my sister Allie in 2019

She was so goofy and outgoing and socially reckless. I love her, of course, but we were so different.

As we grew up, her life become so impossibly difficult and complicated. From my place as an older sister, it was often very hard to see things unravel the way they have, and I struggle often with knowing how to help.

I told her to write it all out on my blog. I thought that it might help her process her feelings. After all, I write to process my own feelings all the time, so it should work for her too. And write she did! I saw post after post come in and this was such a satisfying outpouring of emotions. I was moved to get her a website that could be used as a healthy outlet. Chapter after chapter I will be moving the last 8 posts or so over to Death Becomes Her.

You can follow along the fascinating journey that has been her life so far. I know that parts of this read as an obituary, but I need to clarify that is not the case. She is alive and has been posting as folkbellies. I don’t know if she would say she is well, but she is most certainly LIVING.

This is my family. This is firsthand accounts to my secondhand observation. I bought her a domain and I could not be more excited about what she is going to share with the world. Therapy , word vomit, photography, all of the vulnerability you could imagine.

Want to check it out?

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