I am just a cloud in the sky. I am just a passerby

Boise, Idaho, Posts tagged as "artists" from the blog, traveling, writing

That’s the tune I sing in my own head while I grocery shop with my family. We are calling out to each-other in the aisles like lost animals. Circling the entire store multiple times on our weekly hunt. Vegetables. Meat. Soups and cereal. We forgot cheese.

It’s a nice song by lusine, but I change the words around a little bit in my version. It sort of narratives how out of the way I try to be while existing around other people (in public mostly).

Shane has been painting more than I have been lately, it’s inspiring. I am so grateful for his presence in my life. He is always curious about something different, and always laughing and just being a grounding force in my world.

The one he is working on and most of the women he paint often have pretty spooky, masculine shaped faces and exaggerated curves. This piece has beautiful sunset colors, too so it’s an interesting dynamic.

It’s August and soon it will be September and soon we will both grow another year older.

The hot Boise summer is almost over. I’ll drink even more coffee than I do now. With added whipped cream, pumpkin creamer, and chocolate shavings dispersed on top. I am ready for everything the fall has to offer me this year. From the cooler breezes and crumbs of humidity to the tease of rain and still rare sound of thunder. Myself and my husbands birthdays is always an exciting time, but the most exciting of all is that I get to see two of the best friends I have in this universe.

I cannot wait to see Evelyn and Holly and make interesting art with them and introduce them to this tiny human I made. Holly got to touch my belly when we were sitting in the back seat of my car, driving through Oregon on a quest to see the Pacific Ocean with them while they were up here.

It was bulging and she felt him kick just once. I was 7 months pregnant, sweating through the summer in record Boise heat. They are coming closer to the fall this time and we are going to drive through Idaho southeast into Logan Canyon in Utah.

In mid September, I anticipate a gorgeous display of leaves changing along the mountains. I’ve actually never been, but I looked up drone footage and shared them in our group chat.

Time has been going by so fast, and the year is closing in on me already. I’ll be 30 soon and shortly after that I’ll hold my one year old up in the air, with his silly grin pulled from ear to ear.

I am looking forward to everything the future has in store for me, and grateful for the things the past has afforded me. And, of course, sharing them with you.

Until next Sunday,

Camille

When the birds told me to smile.

writing

Laptop on this dirty table, glowing back at me at 4:54am sitting on layers of pot and cigarette ash, acrylic paint, dirt, dead leaf, littered in soda cans and coffee cups and paper towels and art experiments and paintbrushes and buttons and razor blades and rolling papers.  I don’t know why the fuck I just woke up, and I fell asleep on the couch with my boyfriend watching anime. Humoring my keyboard for lack of anything better to do waiting for the incense triangle I lit to waft away into the ceiling and eisley is done singing pretty songs to me. I might be waiting for the sun to rise so I can go for a walk with my nose feeling unattached and my eyes like planets in my face. I might be waiting for all sorts of things.

I got a new dress today and got told that I’m an asshole by my generally cranky and depressed but good-hearted best friend and I couldn’t even feel bad about it. Going with the flow is important to me, I guess. At least we both had a good experience talking to the fish that rubbed against our wet legs at the beach earlier. The fish are always talking to everyone and have the most relevant messages. “Keep moving forward, like the perpetual waves of the sea”. I’m trying and I want everyone else to try, too. I might be impatient.

I cried the other day because I am negative so much money in my bank and I am still just a lowly design intern, working for free and I would be essentially homeless if I didn’t have such extremely good friends that are willing to help me and have the faith that I never had in myself to do good things. The very next day, I was told there is an intention of offering me a position with my start-up and I feel blessed that every time I feel like I am drowning in debt and shit and being a poor example of a self driven individual that I want to be, life tells me to keep going. Sometimes it is fish when I am feeling angry at people for being stubborn, maybe its flocks of birds when I feel like dying, sometimes its a mood changing itself for no apparent reason whatsoever, but for whatever it is- thank you.