Is there a recipe for de-programming?

People, I mean. Fragile, complex, malleable, sensitive human beings. It’s the year 2021 and propaganda is more efficient than it ever has been in the entire history of the world AFAIK. I’m no sociologist, just a human on Earth right now in the United States.

Reading the news, constantly. Republican senators colluding with Trumpers, QAnon, other far right extremists. Providing tours to them ahead of Insurrection Day. Now planning to on private communication channels. Colorado Politician Lauren Boebart is using Twitter to locate the location of key Democrats ( Nancy Pelosi) during the siege, publicly assisting the domestic terrorists.

The entire fabric of the United States Government has been infested with traitors, using an army of brainwashed people that have fallen victim to hyper-targeted propaganda for over a decade in many cases. Facebook has been around since 2004.

That is, at max, 14 years of personal data that has been used for ad targeting. This unique technology has been evolving and collecting more and more data about who each of us individual human beings and using that data in ad tech for a long time. The ability to use Facebook for ad creation has largely been available to anyone, including nefarious power hungry leaders as we can admit so easily this year.

The internet, in the grand scheme of things, is still fairly brand new for humanity and while it has provided the world with much growth, greater access to knowledge, etc it is a hyper effective machine that is able to market hatred. How can we use this technology to improve humanity?

Will the people end this presidency and what led to it by means of a complex process of healing and communication? In the meantime, we must also organize, protect each other and survive.

There is a pandemic, and an aspiring dictator, and continued Racial violence. White Supremacists have infiltrated every aspect of life here and have crawled into various positions of influence.

Dox the cops, tell your stories, record everything on your cellphone and host it in the cloud. Crowdfund the relocation of unsafe minorities. Do the math: How many people voting for Trump in your community? How many liberal-leaning families need to move to the area to influence the voting outcomes outside of the favor of this evil man?

Invest in mutual aid. Do the labor, do what you can. What I have I will give to you. Choose to love and protect. 2020, in preparation of 2021. Protect yourselves. Sending love.

Celestial Gift Jupiter + Saturn Conjunction due December 21st, 2020

For over a thousand years, humans have known that Jupiter and Saturn conjunct in the sky. We have been unraveling the layers of information about the celestial event like a complex onion. The event, it has been discovered, occurs every 20 years and in the sky visible to human, every 800 years.

Their next great conjunction will happen on December 21, 2020—this week!

It will be the closest great conjunction since July 16, 1623 and the first to be easily observable from our Earthly location since March 4, 1226.

Artist Unknown / The Bethlehem Star

A beautiful moment in the sky is a beautiful moment in the sky and I hope you will find time to head out and look up. Tell me about it. Will it comfort you? Do you feel peaceful, content, small, insignificant, connected?

That’s always how it makes me feel. I hope to share the occasion with a lovely friend. Don’t forget to bring your blankets. We’ve got 4 days or so, depending on where you are in the world.


The tunnel, the portal, the distance, the light.

These are the stories of dying. I read them all the time at NDERF.ORG. Here is my perspective / summary.

When your physical body dies, “you” are evacuated from it.

This is some kind of a version of reality I accepted for myself a very long time ago. I think it is an improvement, because I no longer identify as my physical body anymore. I am not the woman with the thick dark hair, olive skin, large pores and eyes as dark as night. I am not so critical or depressed over the limitations of this body and this brain of which I occupy.

There is the usual scene reported in NDE’s: Suddenly, I saw a scene from above and in a corner of the ceiling. 

The golden yellow warm light. The awareness of their own physical body dying while spending time in the waiting room or high corner of a room or area.

Our bodies are gifts, we are consciousness energy and we occupy our gifts to further develop the consciousness energy to be more divine.

So, I think the dichotomy of existence dictates that a malevolent God should exist as well. A consciousness energy that manifests itself within humanity and grows stronger with fear. Just like love.

I think that we create our own heaven and hell, in a way. I am sure that all religions are the cultural interpretation of a divine connectedness and love that is God.

I am sure some individuals might recognize our shared humanity is an energy and this energy perhaps is a part of the ever expanding universe as well.

I am a reflection of your pain and trauma. When I am feeling brave, and looking at you in the eyes, I can see in them reflections of all your hurt. And of course, you can see right through me.

We are all here with great purpose, and as humans evolve to be more divine, we will build the heavens of a perfectly harmonious existence on Earth. Raise the vibrations.

After your body dies, I don’t suppose I know what happens. Reincarnation? A perfect union with the other dust particles and ice that occupy our known universe? A different Earth in an alternative dimension? Open your eyes to the endless possibilities.

The First Law of Thermodynamics (Conservation) states that energy is always conserved, it cannot be created or destroyed. In essence, energy can be converted from one form into another.

I light candles a lot, as I create imaginative scenarios around the dancing flame and its connection to the broader universe. And perhaps this is just some metaphysical hullabaloo that I created in my own mind to cope with loss. But maybe, just maybe, the keys to understanding the universe around us require a bit of faith and imagination. I can only tell myself, this makes sense to me but I really don’t know. I don’t know anything at all.


Goddess Energy

Today, right now in this moment and in this hour, I am channeling Goddess energy. I feel divine and important. I feel connected to the world. All of the other miracles made of flesh and full of complexity that live here with me.

I feel hungry and yet willing to bathe together and eat soup and be poor in exchange for a memory I’m not ashamed of: loveliness and fun! Tea and painting. Does that even make sense to anyone else but me? Oh who knows. I don’t know.

Indoor activities, and long socially distant walks. Layers and layers of sweaters. Chilly breeze. Rain, sleet, and then snow.

I’ve been making strokes of paint on a few pieces recently, with some graduating to a state of completion. Never any names, untitled, and done. Here it is, my painting. I hope you think it is fun! I’ have updated on my :artwork: page as well.

psychedelic painting trippy goddess universal love

Took about a year and some change but I feel we have finally reached a point where I won’t be adding anymore strokes of paint to you. My child kept looking down the back of the couch, and I didn’t know what he was looking at. I went to look behind the couch with him and all that I saw was you, old canvas. Desperate for attention I guess. I pulled you out from behind the couch and set you on my easel.

me and my painting

We made some late evening coffee and danced all night (until 11:00pm when I could not stand to be awake, not for one more minute. Oh what it is to age.)

Now I’ll hang you up or post you for sale and wait for you to whisper sweet something to a stranger, lure yourself a new home. Whatever seems fit.

On another note, next week, my son turns 2. Oh how ecstatic we are. How loving and pure and human this little one is. Full of hugs, smiles, and joy. Mama now, an immovable force. Look at us together, ahh. Happy Birthday, next week, human. Into skating, painting and food. You love to hug my legs and help me clean and do chores around our home.

We say the alphabet and laugh at the cats + laser. You give me help with my art and love playing with instruments. You share your grandfathers birthday and blue eyes and blonde hair but I won’t hold it to ya, kiddo. I love you eternally. We are here with great purpose, and I can’t wait to see who you become.

About 8 abandoned drafts

Written since June. It’s been a rough year, hard for me to think, write, create, exist. And that’s OK. I forgive myself for it. Today, I woke up quite early, with the dark sky still hanging around outside. Having coffee with my husband before he’s off to work. Some shared time while the child sleeps.

All of the drafts saved in my WordPress queue are a quick thought, just a sentence. Some lingering stressed out rant about the growing pains of society. Mental and physical cramps felt in specific spots within my endless puzzle of intestines. Ow. A complimentary flash of migraine, thanks to my own body and it’s presence on earth right now.

Trumpism and corruption. Greed Over People. The same chants since 2012, the same concepts since the dawn of history I can imagine. Hate crimes. Progressive infighting. It’s all so dizzying and I feel exhausted just existing. Did anybody ever come up with a way to deprogram hate? Is it a battle with a tangible outcome? Meanwhile the topic of carbon removal is the new focus, and mega-rich Jeff Bezos just donated some sums some billions of dollars into environmental sciences and climate change focused tech.

Have something warm to drink, it’s cold outside. Speak love into somebody misguided to hate. Do the mutual aid things. Protect children and stay strong for them. Your continued joy is an act of rebellion. Be happy. Pick up litter. I send you blessings from the source of which we are both a part of.


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