motherhood

Early Humans in Idaho

Boise, Idaho, motherhood, photography, photos, traveling, writing

I was recently reading an article about the oldest signs of life on the North American continent were found in Eastern Idaho over this past week. The artifacts found date human life here back about 16,000 years earlier than we previously had evidence of.

It was an interesting read, and I am blessed to be a short drive away from the areas mentioned in the article.

My sister has been staying with us for 2 weeks now, and by gods grace decided to do us a huge favor as a family unit and stay here to provide extra care for Axle while Shane goes through welding school for the next 9 months. I have been spending my weekends and spare time taking her around to see some of my favorite spots, and as a lover of photography and documentation, she took some beautiful photos.

We drove to Twin Falls and to the Malad Gorge and through the Boise foothills and up towards Idaho City so far. We saw Boise looking small from the top of Table Rock and drove until the sun set into the mountains on multiple evenings. It’s a type of natural beauty that is completely different from the kind that you will find in Florida where we are from and where she has been living for the last few years.

It still feels like an area one might expect to see early humans. Dinosaurs, even. The landscapes are sculpted by god and everything makes you feel small and reminds you that one slip of the foot can be fatal. The gorges, plateaus, valleys and mountains emerge violently through the earth and demand to be respected.

I cannot wait for every other moment I will have with him. There’s so much beauty on this planet that it will take a lifetime to see it all. I am blessed with the ability to start showing you these beautiful things now, when you are so small. The world cant make you feel any smaller. I wonder what it could possibly be like to be 9 months old. To have no clue. I wonder why no one I know remembers being 9 months old. I wonder what your mind is like when it’s not even fully formed.

These first two years, they are everything to me and I am trying my best to craft a people person, a gift for the next 100 years. A gift for the rest of the universe. A kind soul. And I am starting out here in Idaho, the valley of life for North America. An under-appreciated, quiet state with the most intimidating earths I’ve stepped foot on. It’s intensely beautiful.

It’s September 1st.

Building a life out here in Boise, Idaho

Boise, Idaho, motherhood, photography, photos, Posts tagged as "artists" from the blog

I wanted to share some photos from my life over the last few months. I wanted to share the cute smirk and look on my son’s little baby face. We’ve gone on a lot of adventures together, make some art, taken many walks, laughed together, switched baby watching time so we could get breaks every day, and built a lot of memories. I started growing plants on the porch again, and even have some house plants!

  • Plants!
  • Mama Camille and son
  • Angels
  • RIP
  • I84 Idaho
  • Shoshone Falls

I still take photos of all of the dead birds in the summer, and drive for a long time to see the huge mountains surrounding the valley. My husband and son are the sweetest people in the world. I am adapting to a role with a new company that is growing and has a lot of potential and great things happening.

I feel like every week the average temperature is dropping 2 degrees and its so exciting. That is one thing I do love about Boise, the seasons break up the year. It’s not as consistent every day, but it’s a nice thing to experience a white winter, a colorful fall and everything in between.

My best friends are coming this fall and we’re going to see the fall leaves in Logan, Utah 4 hours south of Boise. We’ll drive through those flame-colored mountains and feel the earthy breeze dance through the car.

I hope we can say hello to a few big animals and take some beautiful photos and build nice memories with our short trip!

I am glad that for the last two years they managed to come to Boise and spend time with me! It’s officially a tradition in my book. Each time, we will briefly explore a new area together. Last summer, we all went through Oregon to the coastal town of Newport and down the coast a ways. Every scenic stop was a different kind of breathtaking.

It will be so good for my soul, which feels weathered by the year. My plants can only do so much. I have missed my friends. <3

Moving with the sun

Boise, Idaho, motherhood, photography, Posts tagged as "artists" from the blog

Something about working on a collaborative piece of art completely rejuvenates my entire being. This weekend, it was an experimental art film shot by a local filmmaker and professor. My husband was in the film, and was the primary model. My model. Kevin Roy’s model. I was in awe, delicately filming him in and around a bathroom on the top floor at 500 Capitol Inn. Downtown. The sun was shining in his blue eyes just right. They’re beautiful. Framed by his long black hair, I am swooning.

Now it’s Monday night. Back to watching anime on netflix and hanging out with our young son.

Back to reality where we aren’t living in a dream, the subjects of an experiment by a highly creative mind. He’s as beautiful as ever.

Mothers on social media, and how the internet has changed family dynamics

Boise, Idaho, motherhood, Posts tagged as "artists" from the blog, technology, writing

This is something I’ve been thinking/reading about lately. Mostly reactions to this article about a freshly minted 14 year old on social media who was shocked about the content posted about her by family without her knowledge.

We have a generation of babies right now that will likely emerge as adults in a world with internet.

Babies with videos and images of themselves being assaulted by cheese, learning how to speak and walk. Babies growing up, throwing tantrums and asking questions all documented- sometimes in its entirety- on the internet.

I feel the compulsion interesting and understandable. It has only become very recently that families were able to do more than simply pull photos out from your wallet or purse. Now that we are able to share online, we will overshare. This leaves each person vulnerable. Imagine what this data is doing for machine learning.

We are watching the first generation of people with internet raising their children.

Right now, teenagers exist in the United States that have been entirely denied a private childhood, and I think that’s a problem.

Blogging around your children robs them of something that was afforded to you: the right to have some of their most intimate and vulnerable moments as humans exposed to the internet without consent.

I don’t think that posting a photo is a bad thing, but the volumes of data provided to huge platforms as Facebook and similar is a very scary thought. I would imagine the learning would become so successful that predictions can be made on virtually anything about a person if for example Facebook had data on them from birth to adulthood.

While it would be best to not post photos at all on the internet, I already posted my son’s newborn photo on this website. I’m excited for him to be a part of the rest of my life, and I don’t regret it. I am making a promise to him and to myself that it would be the last one. It’s hard, because he is extremely beautiful to me but this feels like the right way to go.

When he is able to understand what the internet is and tells me he wants to explore it, then we can catch back up. So far, there’s a lot of evidence to back up claims that too much internet access can cause or exacerbate depression.

I want to keep him informed about the opportunities that the internet can provide, as well as the dangers of it.

I want to teach him how to use the internet effectively.

This will be an interesting conversation as his father is not an “internet” person outside of youtube. I work online in the social media and advertising space. We both have vastly different and useful opinions on the internet to share. We also agree that the more time he spends in nature, the better off if will be.

I don’t make art enough these days to update the gallery, but I’m thinking about it. Life is tiring right now because little one is nearly 4 months old. I’ll draft something next weekend.

I hope you’ve noticed the work uploading more art on to this web page. I have a huge variety of work from photography to illustrations with pen to large scale mixed media/ acrylic paintings.

They span over a decade at least, so I’ve been entertaining the idea of respecting myself as an artist.

Not just as a slug of a woman.

With love,

Plastic Dolls from 1967

quick snapshots as a busy no longer pregnant/ artist

motherhood, writing
  • fresh flowers

My pregnant mind. A perfect pile on the counter left there intentionally. Plastic doll, some lace, some, ideas floating around. It serves as a gift, a little reminder. Of all the small, beautiful things that have been and that are to come.

My maternity leave is almost over. The last few weeks of my pregnancy were extremely draining of my mind and energy. Then, I gave birth and have been getting to know that tiny person I grew. I still have a lot of “meeting” to do, and that’s fascinating of itself. He’s ever evolving for the entire rest of my life.

I don’t know how I’ll manage having to direct my attention to work and away from him. Coming to terms with my privilege to be able to spend so much time with baby while on my leave. Since November 30th without stressing out about bills and finances.

I feel extremely sad that many mothers don’t get to have any time with their little babies without feeling the financial burdens of taking that time off without pay.

This event feels so life changing, I don’t truly even feel like the same person anymore and cannot relate to who I was 3 months ago.

Before the gravity of my permanent exhaustion settles in.

I’m going to do it anyway, I’ll report back to you soon to let you know how it goes. The way the situation is unraveling, he will have a lot of time to bond with his father. That’s a beautiful thing to me. They look a lot alike. I don’t know if the baby eyes will always be this blue, but watching them blend together with the passing of time will be something of a treat for me to see.

When I look back at my older artwork, my thoughts and personality I no longer identify with. Early to mid twenties, unhinged, creative and perverted. I’ve evolved. I’ve become more dynamic.

I’m a mother now, a parent, a wife. I have other duties that will define me, I’m not just an artist. How I am going to reflect these changes artistically, I still don’t know. I’m quite curious to find out. My uterus isn’t pregnant anymore but my mind feels like it will always be. Bursting will renewed life over and over again until I

To check out the latest art, check out the new “Mothers Milk” gallery.

Tiny hands, Big love

motherhood, pregnancy

His tiny body wriggles, coos and cries in his rocker. When I picked him up a few hours ago, his crying mouth closed and he fell promptly asleep once his head hit my chest. His little hands clung to the top of my t-shirt. I started to cry because I don’t think I’ve ever loved anything or anyone as much as I love this tiny little baby I created.

🌈

He is so small and entirely reliant on us. Every whimper and cry is a secret code we are left to decipher. Other parents tell me, he will teach you so much about the world and about life. I have loved many things and many people intensely but never as much as this baby boy.

The birth was about a week ago, the same date as my own fathers birthday. A sweet homage- November 30th. I’ve never been in so much pain before, between the pregnancy itself and the end of it. 30 ounces of blood lost, 5 hours of active labor, 4 nights in the hospital, and a vaginal tear later and we are home with our beautiful little human. His eyes dart around, he often is looking around with an air of disapproval. A grumpy little thing. Still so beautiful.

My greatest work of art. I spend a lot of time staring at him. I hope to take this big love and use it to fuel a new generation of creativity, between the lack of sleep, and inspiration in how brand new he is, and the responsibility of molding him into a full grown human.

woman immediately after giving birth
5:40 pm November 30th 2018 ; holding baby

I haven’t been painting anything, and I hope the reasons why have been obvious. I am going to be slowly increases updates after I return from my maternity leave to work and the internet. Feel free to check out the gallery for the latest works up until now!