Building a life out here in Boise, Idaho

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I wanted to share some photos from my life over the last few months. I wanted to share the cute smirk and look on my son’s little baby face. We’ve gone on a lot of adventures together, make some art, taken many walks, laughed together, switched baby watching time so we could get breaks every day, and built a lot of memories. I started growing plants on the porch again, and even have some house plants!

I still take photos of all of the dead birds in the summer, and drive for a long time to see the huge mountains surrounding the valley. My husband and son are the sweetest people in the world. I am adapting to a role with a new company that is growing and has a lot of potential and great things happening.

I feel like every week the average temperature is dropping 2 degrees and its so exciting. That is one thing I do love about Boise, the seasons break up the year. It’s not as consistent every day, but it’s a nice thing to experience a white winter, a colorful fall and everything in between.

My best friends are coming this fall and we’re going to see the fall leaves in Logan, Utah 4 hours south of Boise. We’ll drive through those flame-colored mountains and feel the earthy breeze dance through the car.

I hope we can say hello to a few big animals and take some beautiful photos and build nice memories with our short trip!

I am glad that for the last two years they managed to come to Boise and spend time with me! It’s officially a tradition in my book. Each time, we will briefly explore a new area together. Last summer, we all went through Oregon to the coastal town of Newport and down the coast a ways. Every scenic stop was a different kind of breathtaking.

It will be so good for my soul, which feels weathered by the year. My plants can only do so much. I have missed my friends. <3

It’s not my problem, so why do I always try to solve it?

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The situation is more or less recurring. I feel obligated to help. Financially help. Various family members. Maybe there’s an ask, sometimes there’s guilt with a wall of purpose. It comes in different shapes and forms and manipulates my emotions. Who knows why it really keeps recurring. I’m a very big empath when it comes to certain people or situations and it is to a fault. My fault.

I think that God gives me the ability to do these things, but it always sets me away from my goals. I feel bad about not meeting them and being able to save more money. With a child and a family, it’s more important to me than ever to be able to set money aside.

I often find articles on the internet that discuss how 40% of American adults cannot cover a $400 emergency expense. I am quite grateful to be in the 60% that can.

When I was younger, I made a lot of financial mistakes but I have been trying to rectify them since my mid-twenties. A baby is not a cheap thing, but we cut costs by using cloth diapers and buying clothes lightly used from local trade groups.

We now have credit cards with a $0 balance, over one thousand dollars saved in a high yield savings account and a total debt of about $10,000 that I am trying to tackle.

As an artist and working mom working in tech, this feels impossible.

Life is hard. How do you deal with the guilt of success? Are you obligated to financially help your family? Will I ever be able to buy a home for my family? Is life in America worth pursuing? Will it get easier? I miss gardening and having a screened in painting area. I miss having a table made of cement blocks with morning glories growing out of them. I miss waking up early enough to see the sun rise and going on walks every day.

I had a good cry the other day at lunch. Now I feel better, and ready to ride the waves of the universal ocean.

This is August, 2019.

I am just a cloud in the sky. I am just a passerby

Boise, Idaho, Posts tagged as "artists" from the blog, traveling, writing

That’s the tune I sing in my own head while I grocery shop with my family. We are calling out to each-other in the aisles like lost animals. Circling the entire store multiple times on our weekly hunt. Vegetables. Meat. Soups and cereal. We forgot cheese.

It’s a nice song by lusine, but I change the words around a little bit in my version. It sort of narratives how out of the way I try to be while existing around other people (in public mostly).

Shane has been painting more than I have been lately, it’s inspiring. I am so grateful for his presence in my life. He is always curious about something different, and always laughing and just being a grounding force in my world.

The one he is working on and most of the women he paint often have pretty spooky, masculine shaped faces and exaggerated curves. This piece has beautiful sunset colors, too so it’s an interesting dynamic.

It’s August and soon it will be September and soon we will both grow another year older.

The hot Boise summer is almost over. I’ll drink even more coffee than I do now. With added whipped cream, pumpkin creamer, and chocolate shavings dispersed on top. I am ready for everything the fall has to offer me this year. From the cooler breezes and crumbs of humidity to the tease of rain and still rare sound of thunder. Myself and my husbands birthdays is always an exciting time, but the most exciting of all is that I get to see two of the best friends I have in this universe.

I cannot wait to see Evelyn and Holly and make interesting art with them and introduce them to this tiny human I made. Holly got to touch my belly when we were sitting in the back seat of my car, driving through Oregon on a quest to see the Pacific Ocean with them while they were up here.

It was bulging and she felt him kick just once. I was 7 months pregnant, sweating through the summer in record Boise heat. They are coming closer to the fall this time and we are going to drive through Idaho southeast into Logan Canyon in Utah.

In mid September, I anticipate a gorgeous display of leaves changing along the mountains. I’ve actually never been, but I looked up drone footage and shared them in our group chat.

Time has been going by so fast, and the year is closing in on me already. I’ll be 30 soon and shortly after that I’ll hold my one year old up in the air, with his silly grin pulled from ear to ear.

I am looking forward to everything the future has in store for me, and grateful for the things the past has afforded me. And, of course, sharing them with you.

Until next Sunday,

Camille

Idaho State Penitentiary- The Wes Anderson style prison

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Shane and I went out that way this weekend because our son was spontaneously with his grandma for a few hours and it was awesome! This place was supposed to be haunted and was just a short trip to the other side of Boise. The penitentiary was home to some classic western America criminals and throughout the century of its operation, was the last place 100+ people were alive.

When we got there, it was opposite the botanical gardens which also contained the penitentiary cemetery. A lot of flowers, how delightful!

The cells themselves were all unique and appeared to be ruins with previously pastel colored walls. They easily could be mistaken for sets from a Wes Anderson film.

When you look from afar, the blues and pinks and orange peeling from the cell walls was heavily contrasted with the typical prison bars and monochromatic, dirty penitentiary hallways.

A part of me is busy thinking about the novel One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest that I read as a high schooler. This is where that story took place, all across America. Places like this. 110 individuals died here. Some of old age and other natural causes. Many others died in the gallows, sentences to death here in Boise, Idaho.

No ghosts, but plenty of style. This was a neat spot to visit if you are ever in the Boise, Idaho area. It’s also right across the street from a beautiful botanical garden. Make sure to bring a small bottle of water, the penitentiary can be very hot in the summer.

Moving with the sun

Boise, Idaho, motherhood, photography, Posts tagged as "artists" from the blog

Something about working on a collaborative piece of art completely rejuvenates my entire being. This weekend, it was an experimental art film shot by a local filmmaker and professor. My husband was in the film, and was the primary model. My model. Kevin Roy’s model. I was in awe, delicately filming him in and around a bathroom on the top floor at 500 Capitol Inn. Downtown. The sun was shining in his blue eyes just right. They’re beautiful. Framed by his long black hair, I am swooning.

Now it’s Monday night. Back to watching anime on netflix and hanging out with our young son.

Back to reality where we aren’t living in a dream, the subjects of an experiment by a highly creative mind. He’s as beautiful as ever.

Coffee at 4:00 pm on a Saturday evening

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Evening coffee is almost a ritual for me at this point, and it’s been several years. Now, I appreciate it even more as I tiptoe my way through motherhood. My baby is asleep and I’m listening to doom metal and sipping my coffee and reading articles on Indeed.com and Ladders.com on how to make a good first impression.

I have my morning cup and at or around 4:00 pm, I’ll have my second cup. Maybe a third.

The idea was to finish reading Dialogue with Death by Eknath Easwaran and go shop for a new bra. As Eknath puts it in the book, my desire overcame my will. Or anyways, the baby slept so peacefully i dare not wake him. So another cup of coffee it is.

Recently, I ordered a RedBubble dress of my own artwork and it arrived today as per a transactional email. I think the print came out beautifully but I must have misjudged sizing because it’s not very flattering to my figure. I tried my best to model it well, just in case anyone here is interested in ordering one for themselves (!).

It’s very flowy, even moreso for me since I ordered a large. I got a large amount of flow. It feels quite like a decorative bag but thats not going to stop me from living in this dress all weekend.

The original painting is huge and sadly now destroyed. My sister was living in my “earth ship” trailer for a few years and was sadly gliding by in an abusive relationship. The now- incarcerated jerk she was with destroyed it, and left it to rot in a fire pit. I’ll never see it again except for flowing off of my body in this Redbubble dress and online saved as a .JPG and .PNG.

You can check out this painting in my gallery for the original image. Until next time I have a moment and a thought, goodbye 🙂

Headaches, my job search, and one new painting

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Well, headaches hurt. Mine hurt every day. Usually for a string of days. My headaches and pain are my go-to blame for every poor decision I’ve ever made. I’ve been feeling somewhat busy, despite no job or boss to report to for the first time in years. I’m still looking, of course. I hope to have some good news this week, but I hope for a lot of things. Many of them are still on a shelf. I am more than okay with the wait while I truly find a job I will love and can see myself at for many years into the future.

Another canvas is perched on my wall after I made some time to fill it in recently.

I haven’t had a good writing session with my keyboard in a few weeks, instead focusing on finding a career fit out here in Boise. Focusing on my baby, the blue eyed wonderful little baby. Trying to just feel better.

I should have done more research about what kind of income I could expect for my line of work because, man it is disappointing. Salaries out here are just all around lower. $12/ hourly wage for SEO work? It’s a solid reason why technology struggles to thrive here. Jobs don’t pay aggressively and it feels like a bad thing waiting to happen with all of the booming population growth.

We see it often enough, anyways. Mass migration, stagnant local wages, the only job growth is service industry to cater to the wealthy new residents living off of pensions or retirement funds.

My headaches all but subsided.

I’ve been paying attention to my Facebook memories after noticing just how many status updates I’ve written specifically about being in pain or having a migraine. I would really be curious about the actual numbers on posts per topic, it feels like my body is a prison made of discomfort.

I got one last sum of money and decided to order my own dress design off of my RedBubble store. The dress made from a large scale painting that someone had to destroy. Ripped up, burnt and tossed in a pile of rubbish outside. I wish he didn’t feel compelled to do that, but he did. And now, all I have is this .Jpg file stored on my laptop and external hard drive and redbubble server. All I have left out of the mess of acrylic paint and headaches that made up that painting.

Here’s my most recent painting. I’ll update the gallery soon with it, too! Happy belated memorial day.

What if all of these migraines mean something?

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Memories told me that 7 years ago today I posted “Each of my neurons have a migraine of their own.” to my Facebook page.

A similar sentiment could be true for any other day, too. My body feels like I haven’t slept in days, no matter how actually well rested I am. It’s some form of hell, exhaustion. Working through it has proved impossible. I took some time to try healing myself.I’m very tired. I haven’t painted, or done anything useful and depression has bested me for the first time since I was 24, right after my grandmother died. Maybe there’s a name for this.

At least it’s spring time. I love the flowers.

Billy Bongster x Camicamirobot Shirt Collaboration

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So, if you haven’t read about this yet now you know: My dad is Billy Bongster. He’s an incredibly talented musician, songwriter, God fearing lover of marijuana. A total burnout, really. He’s Billy Bongster. He plays guitar and he smokes pot.

His music is a mix of blues and alternative rock guitar, and it’s wonderful. When I was young, my siblings and I were always were exposed to his guitar playing and various gigs. I remember HempAid 1999 in Michigan. All of the Bike Weeks at Daytona beach. All of the Hempfests in Tampa.

I’ll never forget this one time we were all out to eat at this Italian place that amounted to a doublewide trailer on U.S 19 in New Port Richey, Florida. The food wasn’t bad nor the service memorable, though the idea in retrospect is pretty entertaining.

I asked the server for marijuana sauce instead of marinara with my mozzarella sticks. I’d been confused about the two because I was a little kid and my dad had a marijuana festival he played at earlier that day.

Everyone laughed, the eggplant parmeseans that I assume most of us ate at the time had finally arrived and in my mind this was a good memory.

For a long time, my dad didn’t understand why the 3 of us (Daniel, my brother, and Allie our sister) were so into using the internet. He didn’t get social media on any level and made fun of us.

In the last 3 years or so I’ve really seen him BLOOM with it. He’s built himself a following of fans. It’s been quite impressive and I am a very proud daughter, as I’ve seen him come a long way with his life.

His initially silly and bizarre posts have become, old man shitposting territory, and yet I am proud that he’s able to do stuff like this.

Posting to Facebook pages and maintaining a website are necessary elements to success in this digital age we are living in. I’ve decid that I am going to design some tshirts for him to start selling on his website. As a creative myself, this feels like an opportunity to give back.

We are looking at June 1st, 2019!

Mountain Goddess Protector Painting

A goddess protector of the mountains

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That’s who I decided was going to be hovering over the green mountains. A goddess. This latest painting is 42″x tall and I’m not sure I love it yet. Mountains are fine but I really dropped the ball on this beautiful woman figure and her rainbow melted face.

The current version is on the far right. Not politically, of course.

When I feel better about it, I’ll update the gallery as per usual. Until now, I wanted to post about it and get some feedback. I really want to focus more on anatomy. Its becoming obvious this was always a hobby/ outlet for me and not a craft I took seriously enough to practice.

I’ve been going through a lot of emotional changes and redirections and it’s been very stressful for me.

As I move around in my life adjusting to the comfort of my husband’s presence and the stress of my son’s, I have decided on new directions in my career.

Some things that I have truly cherished for the past 4 years are no longer compatible with my life as a mother and the respectful thing to do for us both is for me to find something that makes more sense.

This means a lot of tightening for the next few months while I work on establishing my next plan. I’m praying and touching my heart and trying to care about my own well being and doing more meaningful things with my time.

I want to truly believe an organization is doing something important. I don’t just want another paycheck. It’s become so stressful and I lack the foundation to be able to effectively sort through that sort of post acquisition startup stress. I’ve been absorbed into a large organization against my will and recognize that I don’t thrive in that one-hat sort of situation.

I’m an overseer. I need to solve this by myself, and not on company time. I’ve been reflecting a lot about my career while I paint lately, It’s been very therapeutic.