Moving with the sun

Boise, Idaho, motherhood, photography, Posts tagged as "artists" from the blog

Something about working on a collaborative piece of art completely rejuvenates my entire being. This weekend, it was an experimental art film shot by a local filmmaker and professor. My husband was in the film, and was the primary model. My model. Kevin Roy’s model. I was in awe, delicately filming him in and around a bathroom on the top floor at 500 Capitol Inn. Downtown. The sun was shining in his blue eyes just right. They’re beautiful. Framed by his long black hair, I am swooning.

Now it’s Monday night. Back to watching anime on netflix and hanging out with our young son.

Back to reality where we aren’t living in a dream, the subjects of an experiment by a highly creative mind. He’s as beautiful as ever.

Coffee at 4:00 pm on a Saturday evening

Posts tagged as "artists" from the blog, writing

Evening coffee is almost a ritual for me at this point, and it’s been several years. Now, I appreciate it even more as I tiptoe my way through motherhood. My baby is asleep and I’m listening to doom metal and sipping my coffee and reading articles on Indeed.com and Ladders.com on how to make a good first impression.

I have my morning cup and at or around 4:00 pm, I’ll have my second cup. Maybe a third.

The idea was to finish reading Dialogue with Death by Eknath Easwaran and go shop for a new bra. As Eknath puts it in the book, my desire overcame my will. Or anyways, the baby slept so peacefully i dare not wake him. So another cup of coffee it is.

Recently, I ordered a RedBubble dress of my own artwork and it arrived today as per a transactional email. I think the print came out beautifully but I must have misjudged sizing because it’s not very flattering to my figure. I tried my best to model it well, just in case anyone here is interested in ordering one for themselves (!).

It’s very flowy, even moreso for me since I ordered a large. I got a large amount of flow. It feels quite like a decorative bag but thats not going to stop me from living in this dress all weekend.

The original painting is huge and sadly now destroyed. My sister was living in my “earth ship” trailer for a few years and was sadly gliding by in an abusive relationship. The now- incarcerated jerk she was with destroyed it, and left it to rot in a fire pit. I’ll never see it again except for flowing off of my body in this Redbubble dress and online saved as a .JPG and .PNG.

You can check out this painting in my gallery for the original image. Until next time I have a moment and a thought, goodbye 🙂

Headaches, my job search, and one new painting

Posts tagged as "artists" from the blog

Well, headaches hurt. Mine hurt every day. Usually for a string of days. My headaches and pain are my go-to blame for every poor decision I’ve ever made. I’ve been feeling somewhat busy, despite no job or boss to report to for the first time in years. I’m still looking, of course. I hope to have some good news this week, but I hope for a lot of things. Many of them are still on a shelf. I am more than okay with the wait while I truly find a job I will love and can see myself at for many years into the future.

Another canvas is perched on my wall after I made some time to fill it in recently.

I haven’t had a good writing session with my keyboard in a few weeks, instead focusing on finding a career fit out here in Boise. Focusing on my baby, the blue eyed wonderful little baby. Trying to just feel better.

I should have done more research about what kind of income I could expect for my line of work because, man it is disappointing. Salaries out here are just all around lower. $12/ hourly wage for SEO work? It’s a solid reason why technology struggles to thrive here. Jobs don’t pay aggressively and it feels like a bad thing waiting to happen with all of the booming population growth.

We see it often enough, anyways. Mass migration, stagnant local wages, the only job growth is service industry to cater to the wealthy new residents living off of pensions or retirement funds.

My headaches all but subsided.

I’ve been paying attention to my Facebook memories after noticing just how many status updates I’ve written specifically about being in pain or having a migraine. I would really be curious about the actual numbers on posts per topic, it feels like my body is a prison made of discomfort.

I got one last sum of money and decided to order my own dress design off of my RedBubble store. The dress made from a large scale painting that someone had to destroy. Ripped up, burnt and tossed in a pile of rubbish outside. I wish he didn’t feel compelled to do that, but he did. And now, all I have is this .Jpg file stored on my laptop and external hard drive and redbubble server. All I have left out of the mess of acrylic paint and headaches that made up that painting.

Here’s my most recent painting. I’ll update the gallery soon with it, too! Happy belated memorial day.

What if all of these migraines mean something?

Posts tagged as "artists" from the blog

Memories told me that 7 years ago today I posted “Each of my neurons have a migraine of their own.” to my Facebook page.

A similar sentiment could be true for any other day, too. My body feels like I haven’t slept in days, no matter how actually well rested I am. It’s some form of hell, exhaustion. Working through it has proved impossible. I took some time to try healing myself.I’m very tired. I haven’t painted, or done anything useful and depression has bested me for the first time since I was 24, right after my grandmother died. Maybe there’s a name for this.

At least it’s spring time. I love the flowers.

Billy Bongster x Camicamirobot Shirt Collaboration

Posts tagged as "artists" from the blog

So, if you haven’t read about this yet now you know: My dad is Billy Bongster. He’s an incredibly talented musician, songwriter, God fearing lover of marijuana. A total burnout, really. He’s Billy Bongster. He plays guitar and he smokes pot.

His music is a mix of blues and alternative rock guitar, and it’s wonderful. When I was young, my siblings and I were always were exposed to his guitar playing and various gigs. I remember HempAid 1999 in Michigan. All of the Bike Weeks at Daytona beach. All of the Hempfests in Tampa.

I’ll never forget this one time we were all out to eat at this Italian place that amounted to a doublewide trailer on U.S 19 in New Port Richey, Florida. The food wasn’t bad nor the service memorable, though the idea in retrospect is pretty entertaining.

I asked the server for marijuana sauce instead of marinara with my mozzarella sticks. I’d been confused about the two because I was a little kid and my dad had a marijuana festival he played at earlier that day.

Everyone laughed, the eggplant parmeseans that I assume most of us ate at the time had finally arrived and in my mind this was a good memory.

For a long time, my dad didn’t understand why the 3 of us (Daniel, my brother, and Allie our sister) were so into using the internet. He didn’t get social media on any level and made fun of us.

In the last 3 years or so I’ve really seen him BLOOM with it. He’s built himself a following of fans. It’s been quite impressive and I am a very proud daughter, as I’ve seen him come a long way with his life.

His initially silly and bizarre posts have become, old man shitposting territory, and yet I am proud that he’s able to do stuff like this.

Posting to Facebook pages and maintaining a website are necessary elements to success in this digital age we are living in. I’ve decid that I am going to design some tshirts for him to start selling on his website. As a creative myself, this feels like an opportunity to give back.

We are looking at June 1st, 2019!

Mountain Goddess Protector Painting

A goddess protector of the mountains

Posts tagged as "artists" from the blog

That’s who I decided was going to be hovering over the green mountains. A goddess. This latest painting is 42″x tall and I’m not sure I love it yet. Mountains are fine but I really dropped the ball on this beautiful woman figure and her rainbow melted face.

The current version is on the far right. Not politically, of course.

When I feel better about it, I’ll update the gallery as per usual. Until now, I wanted to post about it and get some feedback. I really want to focus more on anatomy. Its becoming obvious this was always a hobby/ outlet for me and not a craft I took seriously enough to practice.

I’ve been going through a lot of emotional changes and redirections and it’s been very stressful for me.

As I move around in my life adjusting to the comfort of my husband’s presence and the stress of my son’s, I have decided on new directions in my career.

Some things that I have truly cherished for the past 4 years are no longer compatible with my life as a mother and the respectful thing to do for us both is for me to find something that makes more sense.

This means a lot of tightening for the next few months while I work on establishing my next plan. I’m praying and touching my heart and trying to care about my own well being and doing more meaningful things with my time.

I want to truly believe an organization is doing something important. I don’t just want another paycheck. It’s become so stressful and I lack the foundation to be able to effectively sort through that sort of post acquisition startup stress. I’ve been absorbed into a large organization against my will and recognize that I don’t thrive in that one-hat sort of situation.

I’m an overseer. I need to solve this by myself, and not on company time. I’ve been reflecting a lot about my career while I paint lately, It’s been very therapeutic.

Tie-dye adventures / Boise’s only wet month

Posts tagged as "artists" from the blog

The skies are gray but in my eyes I see only tie-dye. A kaleidoscope of colors twisting into each other. It’s a what I’ve been occupying my time while while Boise spends a few days getting wet outside.

I heard thunder for the first time in two years. It was a magical gift from Boise after so many months of consecutive debilitating dryness.

The rainy weather has me feeling creative and it’s been bringing with it new flowers and greener grass.

I’ve been trying to set up a photoshoot with a Boise local photographer named Chad Estes but it hasn’t lined up with the chaotic schedule of my little one. Hopefully this week that can finally flesh out.

Recently, the baby boy and I went on an adventure up the mountains surrounding Boise. They were muddy as hell because of the weather so far. You know what they say, April showers bring May flowers. Here this rings especially true. We were listening to Hank Williams sing songs about God and despair and looked at how small everything was in proper context. In reality, he stayed in the car and I contemplated towards him in my mind. It was nice anyways.

Shane and I did tie dying and my dress turned out beautiful. I’m considering all kinds of new patterns and scenes of the universe I can easily create with fabric dye and anticipate a budding new hobby. After thinking about some new techniques, I am super excited to get more dye! I just need to try using a black t-shirt + bleach solution and I can hopefully create some celestial designs.

I had a tie-dye baby blanket as a little girl and so I dyed a blanked for my little one as well. It warms me to my core seeing him clutching it in his sleep.

Some Art that I have loved for 10 years+

Posts tagged as "artists" from the blog

Art helps you thrive. I can remember being a young teenager and falling deeply down a rabbit hole of truly wild art. Think Japanese Guro, a sub unit of manga that features extreme gore. I remember Shintaro Kago, one of my favorite artists to this day. Trevor Brown, of course. I have both of their art hanging up in my apartment. I also have works by the lovely Junko Mizuno, mostly gig flyers for some bands I love like the Melvins and Swans. Hikari Shimoda also graces my walls, I am so in love with the style.

For decades. This is a throwback to those that have inspired me the most through the years. Thank you <3

Shintaro Kago: The Guro Artist

Trevor Brown

Junko Mizuno

Hikari Shimoda

They all have such a unique style that explores innocence and childhood in ways that have resonated with me throughout the years. I hope you take the time to dive further into their bodies of work. If you’ve been struggling to find new art to help you replenish your soul, digging into the internet to find some comfort could be just what you need. It works for me every time, anyways.

I always loved them. There’s a few more, such as:

  • Francesca Woodman
  • Francis Bacon
  • Mari Chan
  • Toshio Saeki
  • Tama
  • Takato Yamamoto

Explore them, and you just might find something new and interesting that brings you a renewed appreciate for life. It’s hard to find for me lately outside of creating my own art, when my mind and body feel stagnant and tired and the world around me is spinning on it’s left nut.

Wish me luck, internet, this week I am trying really hard to thrive. The universe might not want me to, but I am trying anyways and I know my favorite artists are here to help me.

What was once a background is now another painting of faces

Posts tagged as "artists" from the blog

I always get started with a new painting knowing that I don’t just want another painting of faces.

They always end up dominating my art. And here were are again, with a canvas full of faces. I just wanted to share a quick update as to where I’m at with making art this weekend. I did it! 😀

I’m not entirely done yet, of course and so these haven’t been added these to the art gallery section. When I said I’m going to focus on posting more, I meant it! Even if my blog posts are quite swift and to the point, as in just some work in progress shots.

It’s important to at least hold myself accountable. I hope you can hold me accountable too, and post angry comments if you don’t hear from me in a while.

I am feeling satisfied with the progress so far, but looking forward to moar pink >:D

I’ve decided to start writing newsletters once and a while. I created a list but never sent anything since 2015. If you’re interested, please sign up!

Mothers on social media, and how the internet has changed family dynamics

Boise, Idaho, motherhood, Posts tagged as "artists" from the blog, technology, writing

This is something I’ve been thinking/reading about lately. Mostly reactions to this article about a freshly minted 14 year old on social media who was shocked about the content posted about her by family without her knowledge.

We have a generation of babies right now that will likely emerge as adults in a world with internet.

Babies with videos and images of themselves being assaulted by cheese, learning how to speak and walk. Babies growing up, throwing tantrums and asking questions all documented- sometimes in its entirety- on the internet.

I feel the compulsion interesting and understandable. It has only become very recently that families were able to do more than simply pull photos out from your wallet or purse. Now that we are able to share online, we will overshare. This leaves each person vulnerable. Imagine what this data is doing for machine learning.

We are watching the first generation of people with internet raising their children.

Right now, teenagers exist in the United States that have been entirely denied a private childhood, and I think that’s a problem.

Blogging around your children robs them of something that was afforded to you: the right to have some of their most intimate and vulnerable moments as humans exposed to the internet without consent.

I don’t think that posting a photo is a bad thing, but the volumes of data provided to huge platforms as Facebook and similar is a very scary thought. I would imagine the learning would become so successful that predictions can be made on virtually anything about a person if for example Facebook had data on them from birth to adulthood.

While it would be best to not post photos at all on the internet, I already posted my son’s newborn photo on this website. I’m excited for him to be a part of the rest of my life, and I don’t regret it. I am making a promise to him and to myself that it would be the last one. It’s hard, because he is extremely beautiful to me but this feels like the right way to go.

When he is able to understand what the internet is and tells me he wants to explore it, then we can catch back up. So far, there’s a lot of evidence to back up claims that too much internet access can cause or exacerbate depression.

I want to keep him informed about the opportunities that the internet can provide, as well as the dangers of it.

I want to teach him how to use the internet effectively.

This will be an interesting conversation as his father is not an “internet” person outside of youtube. I work online in the social media and advertising space. We both have vastly different and useful opinions on the internet to share. We also agree that the more time he spends in nature, the better off if will be.

I don’t make art enough these days to update the gallery, but I’m thinking about it. Life is tiring right now because little one is nearly 4 months old. I’ll draft something next weekend.

I hope you’ve noticed the work uploading more art on to this web page. I have a huge variety of work from photography to illustrations with pen to large scale mixed media/ acrylic paintings.

They span over a decade at least, so I’ve been entertaining the idea of respecting myself as an artist.

Not just as a slug of a woman.

With love,