Time looks so different for everyone. I’ve noticed lately that it looks like sitting for me. Sitting on a couch, and then a recliner, and then in bed. My bambino in my arms everywhere. Sitting on my ass, like a modern day human. I know how bad sitting is for human beings and I think … Continue reading Sitting and clinging to my artistic identity
I’m a mother now, a parent, a wife. I have other duties that will define me, I’m not just an artist. How I am going to reflect these changes artistically, I still don’t know. I’m quite curious to find out. My uterus isn’t pregnant anymore but my mind feels like it will always be. Bursting will renewed life over and over again until I become one with the earth again.
I have been trying to make art every weekend. It is not so easy. Staying up late, waking up early and being 100% focused on the safety and comfort of a brand new person is exhausting stuff, not to my surprise. My body does not make art, it is merely a vessel to provide nourishment … Continue reading Making art but only in between Nourishment & Pleasure
His tiny body wriggles, coos and cries in his rocker. When I picked him up a few hours ago, his crying mouth closed and he fell promptly asleep once his head hit my chest. His little hands clung to the top of my t-shirt. I started to cry because I don’t think I’ve ever loved … Continue reading Tiny hands, Big love
It’s not that I really consider the estimated due date an exact science or even remotely infallible. I just want my body back. This is all that I have in my mind to consider his arrival date. This is the gift I have been given since week 12 of my pregnancy. It’s all I have … Continue reading 3 Weeks, 5 Days left with this body in my body.
That’s what the past 6 months have felt like. My identity will replaced to the slavery of child rearing. My life will soon no longer revolve around me, only my own whims and desires. Soon, a brand new child will come into the world. As a self-proclaimed wild-card, this is a bit much to accept. … Continue reading Stripping away my identity, one day at a time
My son. It’s a nice finishing touch of a thought I’ve had since I found out. What else is there to discover? I have just about 4 months to go before I meet my son. What a nervous feeling this is. I wonder if you’ll identify with that, assigned gender, and I wonder if you’ll … Continue reading A son, shining in the hot summer sky
I was go display at the Indigo arts festival, but pain kept me home. I used it as an excuse to paint for weeks before the event. “I’ve gotta paint today” I lament to my Fiance, ‘please berate me if I don’t paint”. He asked me a month after the event, when was that again? … Continue reading but the pain kept me home
Frank Van Zant doesn’t sound like the name of a famous Native American. That’s because he wasn’t really a Native American. In reality, he was just a hippie. Living in the western US and taking road trips across the country like many Americans of his generation did. Zant was a WW2 veteran from Oklahoma and … Continue reading Thunder Mountain Suicide
I suppose when you get to a certain age, you start realizing you’ve been putting efforts into the wrong things. For whatever reason, this week I read through all of my previous posts. The digital footprints I’ve littered across the internet. I’m too conscious to ever litter in the real world. This kind of litter, … Continue reading I suppose.. ( about my digital footprint)