Like a slap in the face

(personal rant)

It is always an interesting thing when the victim advocate is a.. victimizer. When someone uses wealth and status and power to collect people as “friends” that can be abused and gaslight later and called “ungrateful’ for all the help you needed but never asked for. If you have money, if you want to “help” but that “help” comes with an expected exchange of subservience, you aren’t helping anyone. Stay away from me and stay away from my people. Morally, we have nothing in common. So don’t say that is how we connected. You can read about chakras and serenity all day long but your evil behavior is transparent and your energy bounces off of other peoples energy. It’s uncomfortable at best.

I had a bad day yesterday. An emotionally violent person came back to Facebook after a 2 year absense and left my heart beating and my palms sweating and I was getting irritable around my family but could not tell them why. I had to go on a walk. A fast walk, a distracted walk, a different walk from my normal morning walks.

It felt invasive, after completely removing this persons presence from my life to see that they were now my “friend” on Facebook, able to reactivate and immediately have access to my personal content and friends and digital life presentation. I am now in particular, grateful for how selective I can be with what I share online. But damn.

This person had no permission to contact me again, after I said, please do not contact me. Affirming my boundaries. Something I was never great at. But I am trying. Finally, in my thirties, I matter and my needs matter and I will protect my boundaries with more force than a “please”.

I had to write about this, it was really stressful, I still feel really stressed out and anxious. It took me a very long time to learn how to exist in the world . I grew up very poor and self taught so limited in my intelligence. I did not have guidance, I did not know where to begin.

A more educated woman, born into a classier family and with a more ideal zip code may have had all the things together that I did not at age 22, 23, 24, 25. But I did not. And for that, I was taken advantage of by the world.

I have too much to protect now. My stomach hurts. My heart hurts. Evil revealed itself to me, and I hate it when I see it.

To you I say: Go away. Stop abusing people. Stop forming relationships with the meek, young, and vulnerable so you can take advantage of them. You are shitty, just as shitty as those abusers you claim you “protect” people from. Get your heart right.

Happy October.

As a side note, Inmates CAN and SHOULD fill the appropriate forms for the $1200 stimulus payment from the U.S. Federal Government

While I am here, If you know anyone incarcerated please direct them to this link so they can access the $1,200 stimulus payment that was accessible to most Americans due to covid-19. Seems like the jail and prison institutions have not been honest to inmates about eligibility for this money. No shock there, so it must be a grassroots efforts to share this info as much as we can so our friends locked up to be able to get it.


Published by Camicamirobot

Acrylic art, I am a color wizard.

One thought on “Like a slap in the face

  1. Your words ring true for so many who have been used and abused by well meaning folks disguised as helpers and healers. You are a survivor, and you are helping others without any expectations of gratitude or payment. It’s your calling to be a healer with your words and presence. Thank you for continuing to be a bright light for those fighting their way out of the darkness.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: