Time only has meaning on Earth

Posts tagged as "artists" from the blog

That’s a recurring theme of the NDE’s I’ve been reading over the last few weeks at the Near Death Experience Research Foundation. Your soul, spirit, etc floats above your physical body and time seems meaningless while your awareness is fully realized.

The calmness, dark tunnel and the white light at the end. That part is exciting to me and I can relate. Time feels like a shackle to me and when I can let go of my timely obligations and just exist, as I do in a garden for example on a day off, I feel the most joy and time slips by faster.

I’ve been receiving messages lately about the way the universe works. I miss being 24 and going on walks alone at night. I spent years being alone and now I am so wholly committed to my person that I wouldn’t want to walk alone because I wouldn’t want to scare him should he wake.

I was talking to my dad recently about my theories that the second-coming of Christ is an evolutionary event. Every generation of humans biologically become more loving beings and closer to the source, that is “God”. I am not afraid of dying, and even more have focused entirely on raising a loving human being. It’s hard and really exhausting.

One day, maybe in hundreds or perhaps thousands of years every single human will be spiritually aware and loving and able to kill their egos.

When photographs first started gaining popularity, there emerged a trend by some Photographers to capture spirits. Commonly referred to as spirit photography, William Hope comes to mind.

I believe every generation is getting kinder, smarter, and this is a slow evolution into a more loving humanity. Earth will evolve with the humans that inhabit it as a more beautiful planet when given the proper love and care.

Like an endlessly tessellating fractal of human experience, we will grow better, stronger, kinder and closer to God with each evolutionary repetition.

Time, this fake human construct I experience despite my best efforts to not. The time is flirting with midnight. My beautiful partner, snoring lightly. My beautiful child, sleeping in another room.

I would lay down sometimes with a cloth over my eyes and just imagine leaving my physical body and floating around it but I am scared. An out of body experience, many others describe. I don’t think that I can bring myself to try, even though I know that I could. Not right now, it’s too stressful. There’s never any quiet or alone time anymore.

But for so long there was! I could close my eyes in a grassy spot and just waft around on earth but also everywhere. I could feel the connectedness to the entire planet. I could trace my energy like never-ending veins reaching out and affecting everything. I can’t do that right now, its very much a chaotic situation on earth and the receiving end of that chaos physically introduces itself as a headache. People, stress, chaos.

The blessings in my life right now are breathing down my neck. I am grateful that for the most part, my little family is able to focus on our love for each other and being grateful for everything and helping others where possible.

It is 2020, and things are bad but they are still better than they have ever been on Earth and that’s what is important. I try to constantly remind myself, we are spiritual beings having a temporary physical experience here on Earth. I am not afraid of dying, but I sometimes believe I am afraid of making the most of life.

This rant was supposed to be motivational, maybe I should pick up a paintbrush or go to sleep and stop drinking coffee because parenting is hard and so will be tomorrow.

I am a spiritual being having a temporary physical experience, and that is why I am so tired these days.

I have been helping my Father with a new website hosted on WordPress so that I can help him with the technology aspects of his music. I have always loved his music as it has inspired me since a very young age to pursue new things to listen to from different generations, especially the blues.

You can check it out here: https://billybongsterband.wordpress.com/

I will be back very soon, sending love!

A crumb of justice, two months overdue. Ahmaud Arbery & criminal justice reform rant

Posts tagged as "artists" from the blog

I am a citizen disgusted, of the United States of America. In case you are not, and unfamiliar with news in this country, there has been a racial divide :forever: and it has left us damaged and divided for as long as America broke free from the reigns of Great Britain. He was gunned down while jogging February 23rd, 2020.

Ahmaud Arbery.

This dude was beautiful, he has a huge smile and he was just going for a jog in his neighborhood. Another disgusting defense and senseless crime.

If you are a fellow American with any tendencies for pattern recognition, this is a pretty familiar plot. Black Americans gunned down by police brutality. Blue protecting blue, infiltration of white supremacists within the Police Forces in the south, etc etc. I truly hope justice is served for Ahmaud and that these people cannot hurt anyone else.

I often want to see and learn about the Ahmaud Arbery and other highlighted deaths.. I think of it as, don’t know, a little dedication. A little moment with them. I guess it’s another side effect of the internet, we can reconnect with people whenever we want through their images and content. Dead or alive. Every photo on the internet I could see was this gorgeous smile. Goodbye, beautiful man, I’m sorry you were taken away like this.

The dirty white man that makes me feel uncomfortable. No smile, dirty pants, dirty appearance. Full of hate. A former federal prosector’s investigator, so of course they wanted to cover this up.

The entire police system is corrupt.

Too many Americans are proud and not ashamed of our history with slavery.

It makes my stomach churn, the problems America has with violence. The problems we have in our communities. In our government and police systems.

And I may not know what a solution looks like, but I know what it feels like to be mad for my entire fucking life about the same shit.

May is different this year. May will never be the same again.

Boise, Idaho

I am actually OK. I think. We need less than we realize and we should hold our government to a higher standard. I’ve always felt this way.

It was a wild world back in 2009, when I was just graduating high school. It felt so weird and unnatural to me that there was always so much trauma and difficulty and tragedy in the world. So much violence and poverty and school shootings and global catastrophes constantly. But we just kept going.

This was just normal life on earth. It was normalized decades before I even got here. We’re learning about it in history books and when you asked your teacher, “Why?” there was never a good answer. A sad sigh, sometimes, but no answers.

I have had conversations with people that I respect and genuinely liked that told me that they don’t think existence needs to be any easier. I just don’t understand thinking that way. Such great distances from the struggles of others or things that wouldn’t affect them.

Maybe now, we can have a collective change of heart. A realization that in missing just two paychecks, almost all Americans are thrust into poverty. If you know someone that is going through it, it makes it more real. Maybe we will become a more empathetic country. I always have hope that we will.

But in this reality, where violence and privilege have been normalized over decades, our most unhinged citizens are protesting stay at home orders as unconstitutional. We are shoving park rangers into water when they ask us to spread apart. Shooting guards when they ask us to wear a mask. Refusing to stay off of public park equipment when politely asked.

We are a disrespectful country and we don’t know any other way. It feels so heavy, my hope in the face of this powerful ignorance. We must do better. Misdirected anger. We need to stay home and stay safe. Our government needs to do better to ensure that it is POSSIBLE.

I hope that these protestors have misplaced anger. Anger that they don’t have a lifeline. They protest to go back to work because we cannot survive for months on a single $1200 check without proper halts on mortgages and rent.

Without proper insurance to ensure the company someone put their love, blood, sweat and tears into for generations only to be shut down indefinitely due to a lackluster response to COVID from the government. Misplaced anger and the complete lack of protection.

People, businesses and families need to be protected in order to stay home. I’m so tired, I’m so tired of this. We must do better.