I got married in January. We went to the court house and signed paperwork and we were carrying our baby in his carseat and I was wearing ripped up old jeans. It was a little awkward, as am I. We’ve been together since September 2017, and I notice some big differences. I’m so used to living alone, so I really did this too quickly and the adjustment period has been interesting. Now, not only do I have another adult human to live with, but a baby human.

I like to write. It’s why I started this blog so many years ago. I know that no one I know in my real life actually reads it, but for me it’s just as useful as a session with a therapist. I’m kissing it all on the forehead. Goodnight, anxiety. See you next time.

He does not write. He does not read. No social media. He does watch a lot of videos on Youtube, but otherwise does not spend any time entertaining what I like to call the Intrusive internet.

I cant even imagine not having the urge to write. I feel like we are both considered digital natives (born 1989 and 1990) but my experiences must have been much different from that of our peers growing up. I had websites from such a young age, and continued to maintain various websites and blogs into my adulthood, I know that my siblings both did as well, at least at various points. My friends would write, and I just assumed the whole world did.

At first it would be angelfire, tripod.net or AOL pages. Yahoo had a webpage hosting service as well that I had used. For me, this was an incredible outlet to show the world my art.

I could tinker and write code and make a home on this cyber planet.

I could have all of the pieces of digital furniture that my heart desired. I could write and write and share my art, my videos, my poems and ideas and life. And maybe one day someone would care. It wasn’t until years later, when I was in my early twenties that I thought about how this trend of digital lives being the norm is shaping the way people die.

I spend so much time thinking about it and I decided to model my internet life and my website as a massive memorial. I want you to be able to remember what kind of person I was when you read these posts. I am meek. I am nervous. I am trying.

And I like to write.