Life & clinging to my artistic identity

My latest artwork, at 4 different stages of growth. Taken over the course of 48 hours.

Time looks different for everyone. I’ve noticed lately, that it looks mostly like nothing for me. Sitting on a couch, and then a recliner, and then in bed. My bambino in my arms everywhere. Sitting on my ass, like a modern day human.

Allowing my mind to go to the wind. I know there is a lot to do but I just want to rest and stare at my baby and talk to him and hold him and let my eyes glaze over and become a slave to his growth and well being. Its a very strange and intense feeling and I’ve bent to force myself into self care and making art and doing the bare minimum mentally.

I’m just focusing on rest and rejuvenation.

I want 2019 to be a wonderful, life changing year for me. I am now married, I am committed to my son and my husband and they are permanent fixtures in my life. A life I never felt had permanent fixtures. It’s a beautiful feeling, knowing every day I will have them. It’s a huge responsibility and a beautiful comfort. I feel swollen with desire to be a better person now. I feel like I am in the calm before a storm of personal growth. This is a great time for a nap, and in one week when my maternity leave is over and I return to my computer ready to get work done, I am going to do it well. I am going to sit up straight, type with good posture, drink my water, clear my throat on mute, read books at night again, and I am going to thrive. On the weekends, I am going to paint and spend time with my family and the rest of my life is going to be filled with love and laughter. I am embrace the pains, fighting and discomfort that will inevitably be sprinkled in between, I’m ready for life.

2 thoughts on “Life & clinging to my artistic identity

  1. Beautiful! Very well written! Carpe Diem! Seize The day! Enjoy every minute of it! My oldest, my son went away to college this fall! It is gone in the blink of an eye! God Bless!

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