Time looks different for everyone. I’ve noticed lately, that it looks mostly like nothing for me. Sitting on a couch, and then a recliner, and then in bed. My bambino in my arms everywhere. Sitting on my ass, like a modern day human.
Allowing my mind to go to the wind. I know there is a lot to do but I just want to rest and stare at my baby and talk to him and hold him and let my eyes glaze over and become a slave to his growth and well being. Its a very strange and intense feeling and I’ve bent to force myself into self care and making art and doing the bare minimum mentally.
I’m just focusing on rest and rejuvenation.
I want 2019 to be a wonderful, life changing year for me. I am now married, I am committed to my son and my husband and they are permanent fixtures in my life. A life I never felt had permanent fixtures. It’s a beautiful feeling, knowing every day I will have them. It’s a huge responsibility and a beautiful comfort. I feel swollen with desire to be a better person now. I feel like I am in the calm before a storm of personal growth. This is a great time for a nap, and in one week when my maternity leave is over and I return to my computer ready to get work done, I am going to do it well. I am going to sit up straight, type with good posture, drink my water, clear my throat on mute, read books at night again, and I am going to thrive. On the weekends, I am going to paint and spend time with my family and the rest of my life is going to be filled with love and laughter. I am embrace the pains, fighting and discomfort that will inevitably be sprinkled in between, I’m ready for life.