A perfect pile on the counter left there intentionally. Plastic doll, some lace, some, ideas floating around. It serves as a gift, a little reminder. Of all the small, beautiful things that have been and that are to come.
My maternity leave is almost over. I’ve spent the last 3 months struggling with being pregnant, birth and then getting to know the tiny human I created in my body. I still have a lot of “meeting” to do, and that’s fascinating of itself. He’s ever evolving for the entire rest of my life.
I don’t know how I’ll manage having to direct my attention to work and away from him. I am privileged to no end to be able to spend all of my time with him since November 30th without stressing out about bills and finances. I have been blessed with a wonderful company/ product and feel extremely sad that many mothers don’t get to have any time with their little babies without feeling the financial burdens of taking that time off without pay. This event feels so life changing, I don’t truly even feel like the same person anymore and cannot relate to who I was 3 months ago before the gravity of my permanent exhaustion settles in. I’m going to do it anyway, I’ll report back to you soon to let you know how it goes. The way the situation is unraveling, he will have a lot of time to bond with his father. That’s a beautiful thing to me. They look a lot alike. I don’t know if the baby eyes will always be this blue, but watching them blend together with the passing of time will be something of a treat for me to see.
When I look back at my older artwork, my thoughts and personality I no longer identify with. Early to mid twenties, unhinged, creative and perverted. Myself and my art are being forced into an evolution. I’m a mother now, a parent, a wife. I have other duties that will define me, I’m not just an artist. How I am going to reflect these changes artistically, I still don’t know. I’m quite curious to find out.