Two weeks. It has been two weeks and I am committed to this blog. Things have changed so much since then and yet I feel myself thinking that every day. Every seven years we are living in brand new flesh and that fascinates me to no end. My best friend, Ed wrecked his car. Just to get a french fry from a bag of fastfood, a simple thing I have done many more times than I can count and a sweet middle aged womans’ car was sitting, crumpled inside of the nose of his car. Wrecked. His car, I thought. “My life..”, he thought. Well, no one was hurt and boy were there a few of us in there and that is the most important thing. We still have each other. We still exist. I’ve been around, lending my car here and there while I figure out my next move and get way too drunk at a party and start painting with bodily fluids and dancing to team sesh or brand new until 7am. I have been thinking every single day, “wow I need to write” because I ran out of canvasses, which may not be all of a bad thing since I just started to finish a bunch of really old stuff that I had the audacity to post online circa 2011 and they look awful and I wanted to die (that year was such a mess).
I drove to Tampa and made giants bubbles with my sweet friend, the unicorn and played in the leaves. She is the most beautiful unicorn I know and he’s so sad and stressed out because I guess its a normal thing for people in their 30’s to drop their friends for no reason to appease someone (that sounds like something but definitely not love) and oh I’m always so in love with the aesthetics of her and her life and I love her so much I never know what to say but to me its wild to just not be a friend to someone to satisfy your relationship. It sounds awful, like some kind of an existential dictatorship. She got drunk and I was awake all night reading the hard cover copy of Hyperbole and a Half and it made me think about a time when that book was 100% a mirror of my life and how my friend who wrecked his car told me he read it and it reminded him of me and (siiiigh)
I am moving into this beautiful art house with all of these actual people just because I do’t want the household to crumble as it might and god forbid because I love these guys and they are my friends and we’re just going to make art and I am going to breathe deeply outside for no reason because I mean 4 people plus guests at any given time is a lot to deal with for little old me and I need my space and my unicorn time.